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If Shane Crawford thought some of his footy coaches were rough, it’s time for him to meet theatre critics.
The AFL great has received scathing reviews for his stage debut, playing the Pharaoh in the new Melbourne production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
The 48-year-old has spent plenty of time in the media since his retirement following the 2008 Grand Final victory, but a switch onto the stage does not appear to have maximised the Brownlow medallist’s many talents.
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The Herald Sun’s Nui Te Koha was the most kind, explaining Crawford “made the most of the material and brought his natural charisma and broad likability to the role”.
He even declared the Hawthorn great’s voice “easily hit the money note on Song Of The King’s crescendo: “Won’t you tell me what this crazy dream really means?”.
“But sometimes his performance felt a little stiff. His voice and performance instincts are definitely up to the task, so here’s hoping Crawford finds more nuance, swag — and fun — in the Pharaoh, once he learns to relax and gains more confidence with the role.”
Others weren’t so generous to the first-time stage performer.
While The Age’s Cameron Woodhead was full of praise for the production as a whole, he declared “whatever the hell Crawford is doing as the Pharaoh, it isn’t acting.
“The Pharaoh is supposed to be comic relief – a sort of ancient Egyptian Elvis impersonation – but Crawford can’t really hold a tune or wobble a seductive lip (or even find the right spot to stand, sometimes) and his clueless prancing resembles variety performance with a whiff of ritual humiliation about it.
“Seriously, where’s Red Symons with a gong when you need him?
“This is a new nadir for celebrity casting … and the sheer absence of talent Crawford displays is a bit embarrassing for everyone.”
The Guardian’s Tim Byrne rated the show four stars out of five but it sure sounded like Crawford was the reason for the missing one.
“Disappointment doesn’t begin to cover it. In a production where every performer is at the top of their game, Crawford’s blundering, tone-deaf turn as the Pharaoh is crushingly bad,” Byrne penned.
“Utterly devoid of stage presence, incapable of delivering a single line with flair or conviction, his addition to the production reads like a giant insult.”
Crawford will continue to feature in Joseph until late December.
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